4am: I have been kept awake by a 2 yr old trying out various laughs at 3am. I kid you not! Was just trying to settle Max back down to sleep (still trying *sigh*) I heard a loud “HA. HA. HAAAA…” followed by silence. Did I just imagine that?? No? how do I know for sure? Because about 3 seconds later it’s followed by “hmmm, nope. don’t like that……. HE. HE. HEEEE…… YESSSSSS”and repeat for about half an hour.

11am: He eventually went to sleep once I had gone in to tell him to, I think he may have an imaginary friend the way he was talking last night. Kept saying things like “I’m gonna tickle you”, “you need a drink too?” etc… either that or he is one smart cookie and was trying to sweet-talk me into doing things for him without actually sweet-talking me, if ya get what I mean!

He’s currently sitting opposite me at the PC playing his Gameboy… the bane of my life *sigh*
Max is sleeping - finally… it felt like he was up half the night being unsettled.

Oh, and we got one step closer to J sterilising the bottles properly… he washed them and put them in the steriliser, we’ve yet to get him to switch it on though, and I was still left having to make them up at all hours because he’d forgotten yet again. We will get there I’m sure… probably by around the time they no longer need sterilised anymore.

Ooooh and other news, I got my first bling! Thanks to Veronica for this cute lil badge

I’ll wear it with pride
I’m still looking into the self-hosting thingy, we shall see how it goes. It’s definitely something I’ll do at some point in the future… most likely as soon as I can, so watch this space.

So there I was making bottles up at 4am this morning *sigh. It’s times like these I really feel envious of the breast-feeders out there that’s for sure! Why is it that men seem totally incapable of doing anything chore-like unless they are prodded?? Of course it’s all my fault for not reminding him. Can you see the steam coming out of my ears yet…? Oh well, at least I can guilt-trip J into giving me a bit of a lie in later on this morning. I hope.

Christmas is two weeks on tuesday - TWO WEEKS. Oh my god I am nowhere near ready. We have no food yet, no Christmas presents, hell I haven’t even found the cards that I stashed away last year to send out this year (so much for buying a bargain when i can’t find it when I need to!). I was thinking of getting the decorations out this weekend, want to make the most of the season and all that, but at the same time I can see me telling Zack off constantly for trying to climb on or rearrange the tree, so maybe I will leave it for next weekend.

Bittersweet news we got yesterday - my dad finally has a date for his operation to remove some kidney stones and a stent that was put in 11 weeks ago and has been causing immense pain ever since. I’m so glad that he’s now got a date, it’s been horrible seeing him so sore - he’s never normally one to complain if he’s unwell, but this has just been unbearable for him.
The downside? The operation is scheduled for Dec 20th, which means we won’t be spending Christmas together after all, something that we were all so looking forward too. I know I should just be over the moon that he’s finally going to be relieved of this pain, and don’t get me wrong I really really am, but a- they should have sorted this out much sooner than they have, and b- now we don’t get to have the big family Christmas I’ve been hoping for since Zack was born.

There’s always next year of course… I just hope that they both keep well enough to be able to come over then!

Hmmm… what else to say? Oh, of course… some of my favourite bloggers have recently changed platforms to their own hosts… I had been musing doing the same thing at some point as I like being able to fiddle around with these sort of things, it’s a bit of a hobby I suppose. At the moment the only thing that’s stopping me is cash-flow. It’s just not a good time of year to fork out extra money I’m afraid, especially when I still have everything else to organise for Christmas first… 2 weeks on Tuesday, bloody hell! Anyway, back to what I was saying… what was I saying? Oh yes, I hope to have my own domain up by the new year, or just after. We shall see! After that there will be no more hopping about I promise!

Right. Max has finally dropped off and is no longer snuffling and grunting (gotta love those baby noises…just not at 4am) so I’m off to catch a lil more sleep before the troops wake.

Oh. my. god. I’m just too tired to think properly let alone type - it’s just as well there’s a spell checker on this thing. It’s 9pm and as soon as Max has actually settled to sleep in his cot I’ll be going to bed myself.

It’s times like this I wonder how I ever thought I had a clue as to what being truely exhausted really meant before having children of my own. I feel like I should apologise to any mums that I attempted to justify my tiredness to before becoming a mother myself. I can fully appreciate why people who can’t sleep are driven completely insane, I’m almost there myself at the moment!

*Just a couple more months and he’ll be sleeping through.* This is my mantra… If i didn’t keep repeating this to myself when I try to put the kettle in the fridge and the milk on the kettle’s hub (yes it did happen this morning…again), or wonder how Zack can possibly have grown so much not to fit into a vest to find that it’s actually his little brother’s, or even when I called a spork a cross between a fork and a knife as opposed to a fork and a spoon… I’m sure all of these blips are because of my sheer tiredness building up from the past 5 weeks and 4 days (5 days if you count the fact that I was in labour the night before M was born!). They can’t possibly just be my complete stupidity getting worse… can they? [J’s reading this over my shoulder and laughed at the above comment… he stopped when I asked if he wanted to be on night feeds for the next week /sigh…men have no idea!]

I really hope Max is a good boy for me tonight and sleeps well… I am dreading the thought of having to be awake for so much of the night when I could be having my precious sleep.

Ahh bliss… he’s fallen asleep which means soon I can too

5.30AM:

Why won’t my son actually drink his friggin milk?! he wakes up and cries his wee eyes out cause he’s hungry and then only takes the most stupid tiny piddly amount before spitting out his bottle to give me a grin… normally that’s cute but at 2am AND 5am…this has to be some sort of joke huh?

*breathes* I know this is just the sleep deprivation catching up on me, he’s 5 and a half weeks old… I almost had a nervous breakdown with Zack when he was about 8wks old cause I was just trying to do more than I could. Must try not to do or expect too much of myself or the boys atm… but then that’s always easier said than done isn’t it?

The most annoying thing is that although he’s had as much milk as he’s going to the lil sod is now wide awake and making grutning/snuffling sounds which keep me awake! So far tonight I’ve had about 2 hours of solid sleep and I most likely won’t get much more… when’s my day off?