WARNING: THIS IS A RANT! If you think you may be offended, leave now!

I do the huge majority of Max’s night feeds in our house.  If I’m lucky I can usually persuade J to do one at the weekend.  Now normally I don’t mind this - after all he’s going out 5 days a week doing a job he really isn’t that keen on (although it is a desk job so not physically tiring in the slightest) to bring in the money etc, he’s up earlier to get to work, and *at the moment* the boys seem to have taken to sleeping til about 9am which is amazing, although I doubt it’ll last.

Thing is… the very IDEA that he do the night feeds on the friday AND the saturday night and apparently I’m being unfair.  I don’t think that’s right as he is getting 6 nights a week of proper un-interrupted sleep (i have to thump him awake when he does do the night feed cause he sleeps thru the crying) while I’m living off about 4-5 hours of very broken sleep that whole time and having to run around after a toddler each day, keep up with the housework, and tidy up after said toddler, baby and husband. and to top it all when he actually does the night feed he needs a lie in and a nap to ‘catch up’.  see where I’m going with this??

do you think i should stick to my guns and ask him to do the fri and sat night feeds on a regular basis? or am I being unfair?  please don’t be too mean in your comment if ya think I’m being unfair or I’ll cry!

So there I was making bottles up at 4am this morning *sigh. It’s times like these I really feel envious of the breast-feeders out there that’s for sure! Why is it that men seem totally incapable of doing anything chore-like unless they are prodded?? Of course it’s all my fault for not reminding him. Can you see the steam coming out of my ears yet…? Oh well, at least I can guilt-trip J into giving me a bit of a lie in later on this morning. I hope.

Christmas is two weeks on tuesday - TWO WEEKS. Oh my god I am nowhere near ready. We have no food yet, no Christmas presents, hell I haven’t even found the cards that I stashed away last year to send out this year (so much for buying a bargain when i can’t find it when I need to!). I was thinking of getting the decorations out this weekend, want to make the most of the season and all that, but at the same time I can see me telling Zack off constantly for trying to climb on or rearrange the tree, so maybe I will leave it for next weekend.

Bittersweet news we got yesterday - my dad finally has a date for his operation to remove some kidney stones and a stent that was put in 11 weeks ago and has been causing immense pain ever since. I’m so glad that he’s now got a date, it’s been horrible seeing him so sore - he’s never normally one to complain if he’s unwell, but this has just been unbearable for him.
The downside? The operation is scheduled for Dec 20th, which means we won’t be spending Christmas together after all, something that we were all so looking forward too. I know I should just be over the moon that he’s finally going to be relieved of this pain, and don’t get me wrong I really really am, but a- they should have sorted this out much sooner than they have, and b- now we don’t get to have the big family Christmas I’ve been hoping for since Zack was born.

There’s always next year of course… I just hope that they both keep well enough to be able to come over then!

Hmmm… what else to say? Oh, of course… some of my favourite bloggers have recently changed platforms to their own hosts… I had been musing doing the same thing at some point as I like being able to fiddle around with these sort of things, it’s a bit of a hobby I suppose. At the moment the only thing that’s stopping me is cash-flow. It’s just not a good time of year to fork out extra money I’m afraid, especially when I still have everything else to organise for Christmas first… 2 weeks on Tuesday, bloody hell! Anyway, back to what I was saying… what was I saying? Oh yes, I hope to have my own domain up by the new year, or just after. We shall see! After that there will be no more hopping about I promise!

Right. Max has finally dropped off and is no longer snuffling and grunting (gotta love those baby noises…just not at 4am) so I’m off to catch a lil more sleep before the troops wake.

Why do I bother asking J to do the night feeds?? I mean really… is there any point? If it’s not me having to thump him to wake when Max is crying for a feed, it’s me having to get up and clean up puke that seems to be something he is incapable of doing, not to mention the fact that I end up settling him after the nightfeed as his cot is on my side of the bed - that can take anywhere from 15 min to 2 hours by the way.

Last night for example… J was to do the night feed. The lucky sod only had to do one feed as Max was a good boy for him - why not me?? I had gone to bed early making the assumption that J would notice the bottles needed to be sterilised etc before going to bed. Lo and behold when I went into the kitchen to get some painkillers at 4am (killer headache hence the early night) the bottles had been left. So there I was doing the bottles with a banging headache at 4am in the frickin morning… I mean COME ON!!!!

rant over… for now

5.30AM:

Why won’t my son actually drink his friggin milk?! he wakes up and cries his wee eyes out cause he’s hungry and then only takes the most stupid tiny piddly amount before spitting out his bottle to give me a grin… normally that’s cute but at 2am AND 5am…this has to be some sort of joke huh?

*breathes* I know this is just the sleep deprivation catching up on me, he’s 5 and a half weeks old… I almost had a nervous breakdown with Zack when he was about 8wks old cause I was just trying to do more than I could. Must try not to do or expect too much of myself or the boys atm… but then that’s always easier said than done isn’t it?

The most annoying thing is that although he’s had as much milk as he’s going to the lil sod is now wide awake and making grutning/snuffling sounds which keep me awake! So far tonight I’ve had about 2 hours of solid sleep and I most likely won’t get much more… when’s my day off?