…when you’re broody as hell.

First of all, just so you (my parents) don’t get all worked up (sorry but it’s true! ) I am NOT pregnant and I am NOT INTENDING to get pregnant in ANY way, shape or form. I PROMISE.  So you really, REALLY don’t need to tell me that it’s a bad idea - I already KNOW that!

Ok, disclaimer out of the way.

So, let’s start with a list of the bloggers I know of who are preggers at the moment (lucky b!tchs!!!)…

There’s Laura from Oraeley who’s due date is today - come on Carly, make everyone jealous of your mummy by coming out ON TIME!!!!!

Then there’s the OTHER Laura, from Synchronization of Us, you’ll get your sexing scan soon sweety ((hugs)).

Fern from Not Nigella is also up the duff (don’t you just love that phrase? ).

Then there’s Taz, Veronica, and now RACHAEL from Antithete has decided to join the cool kids and has announced her pregnancy too.

Now, come ON girls! This is just! not! fair!

I already have a real LIVE new baby up the stairs from me (and ohhhhh she is SOOOO CUUUUUUTE!!!), so I really DON’T NEED THIS NOW!!

I must NOT be broody.  Do you know WHY? Cause I can’t handle the pregnancies.  I am one of those people who actually enjoys the giving birth (not when I’m in it, obviously), and isn’t too fussed about the after-effects, new baby etc… I can deal with all that. What I can’t deal with is even the thought of going through the pain I had during my pg with Max again. SPD is EVIL to me. I *should* have been on crutches for the last couple of months of Max’s pregnancy, but I decided what was the point since I couldn’t really GO anywhere anyway. I was housebound, with a toddler, in extreme pain, and I couldn’t move without crying. Really, it was THAT sore.

I don’t EVER want to go through that pain again, so much so that I will settle with having my two boys, who I love to pieces and am SO lucky to have. I just wish there was a way to pass my uber fertility to someone else who would WILL make a great daddy one day.

So, no more kids for me, even though I would love to have them, I just couldn’t do that again. It wouldn’t be fair on J, on the boys, or on my body. It does hurt a little though, to know that I won’t be having any more. Especially when I see so many all around these days…

Mind you, they do say… “never say never”… don’t they?

Lotus is asking for birth stories for her Birth Story Carnival, and as I love talking about having my boys I thought I’d jump right on this bandwagon

This is a (highly edited!) copy of the original birth story I wrote down for Zack way back before I even knew blogging existed.

Zack’s Birth Story

I woke up on Sunday morning (17/7/05), 5 days overdue, at around 5am to go to the loo and had a definite show, and what i thought at the time was just the usual sore pelvis and hips etc, so toddled back to bed and attempted to get comfy. I got an almightly pain around my back and tummy as I lay down- ouch!

I tried not to think anything of it as I didnt want to get my hopes up, but within about 7/8 min it happened again, and again… well, you get the picture. By about 7 am they were coming every 4/5 min and lasting over a minute - bl**dy painful too! so i called the hospital and they said to take some paracetamol and have a bath…an hr later contractions coming every 1.5 min and lasting over a min… with the usual advice being when they get to less than 5 minutes between and over a minute long to get to the hospital, I figured with the pain I was in I must be progressing pretty fast and to see about getting my butt up to the hospital asap, at least to be checked over.

I got to the hospital at about 9am ish, and it took the mw about an hr for the mw to actually check me over - they were understaffed and had LOTS of babies coming into the world…what were we all doing 9 months ago??? Anyway, she said i was about 2/3 cm dilated and did i want to go home or stay and have entonox… Oh b*gger! Well guess what - gas and air RULES! :O)

I was able to have a bath in their oh-so-huge bathtub and managed on the g&a till about 12.30 ish, by which time I decided something stronger was most definitely in order. Diamorphine here we go…no one told me it’d make my nose itch, but it definitely helped take edge off the contractions.

I got examined at around 3/4ish to find i was about 7cm dilated… time to go down to the labour suite (finally!). The mw here was an absolute darling, although I hate to say it but I can’t remember her name! Did I mention I was told to be quieter while still up on the maternity wards because I was “disturbing the other ladies”… seriously I wanted to rip that MW a new one when she said that… I’m sure she never would have said it if I hadn’t been a ‘first timer’.

So anyway… by this point I was ever so slightly spaced out with all the G&A and diamorphine! My waters *finally* broke at the back of 5 and almost instantly wanted to push. I’ll never forget the feeling of pushing him out. I put my hand down to feel his head, it was squishy and wet, not exactly what I was expecting, but then I found out later that actually I’d been touching meconium, yes that’s right, my lil Zack likes to wallow in his own sh!t! One last huge push and out popped Zack at 17.18 :O) as he had passed some meconium he had to be taken away for a wee bit to check his airways etc. Luckily he hadn’t inhaled any on being born, so about 5 minutes later I finally had my lil boy in my arms - I have never been so happy in my life!! His little eyes stared up at me and I was hooked.

Max’s Birth Story

Ok this one’s a copy and paste from the original post which you can find here.

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We got to the hospital at 9pm, I was still feeling really uncomfortable but hadn’t yet twigged that I was actually in labour - no contractions that I was aware of or anything, I just thought I was more uncomfortable for yet another night!

I was shown to a room and my midwife came in… a guy who introduced himself as Steve. Well that was something I hadn’t even thought of - that my mw could be male! I knew they were about but hadn’t for a second thought that I might get one, lol! He was nice enough though and definitely knew what he was talking about so I wasn’t too bothered about him being my mw - anything to get the baby out remember?

I was strapped up to a monitor for 40 minutes ish so they could determine what the baby’s regular heartbeat was and to see if i was having anything resembling contractions. Cue me starting to feel regular pains and starting to have to breathe through them - bloody typical!

Steven told us that once they’d monitored me for 30-40 minutes he’d do in internal and see about breaking my waters. If that hadn’t worked in increasing contrations then they would see about getting a syntocinin drip started to induce contractions.

At about 10.30 the print outs from the past 40 min were looked at and yes, I had been having moderate contractions by this point for the whole time, with them getting stronger and stronger. We were all pretty sure by this time that once my waters were broken I’d go straight into full blown labour. 10.45pm and my waters were broken - oh god those contraction all of a sudden got a hell of a lot worse! I managed to last til about 11.30pm without any help but then I decided it was time to try the Gas and Air - ahhh I love that stuff it was the closest to feeling very happy-drunk that I had in a loooong time!

By 12.30am the contractions were becoming unbearable even with the gas and air. I was practically constantly using it as the contractions were that close together. I was out of it and in pain. I asked for an epidural - I figured there was no way I could cope with this pain if it was going to go on for another 3-4 hours!

Steven asked if he could do an internal to see how far along I was and then decide what to do. I was 7cm!! I’d progressed VERY quickly and so we decided to try out the diamorphine before going to an epidural - although by that point we kinda figured that it was unlikely to last long enough for me to get one as things seemed to be moving along really nicely.

12.45am and I am doped up to the eyeballs in Happy Land. Oh it was nice

I was practically snoozing in between the contractions and was out of it on G&A the rest of the time. By 1.30am I had been having the urge to push for about 5 min, but had managed to breathe through it for the most part, but it was getting more and more difficult to do that. I followed my body’s instinct and started pushing, or should I say my body took over and started pushing for me! I could feel him coming out pretty nicely, 2 pushes and the head was out, then a few breaths and with the next contraction and one more push, his body slithered out at 1.40am on Oct 11th.

Apparently the cord had been wrapped around his neck twice, but it was easily unravelled. We were asked if anyone wanted to cut the cord, J’s waay too squeamish so I did it - not something I had been intending to do but I was happy to do it at the time! He pooed all over me straight after this, but I didn’t notice! I was too busy realising that he was finally here to care! The first things I noticed about him were a birthmark on the back of his hand and a tooth - yes he was born with a tooth! He had a hell of a voice to him already and was screaming his wee heart out!

I had been worried about how the SPD would affect the birth, but it didn’t seem too bad, although it was even more painful to move about for the first week or so after the birth than before hand. Now it’s completely back to normal and I can sleep on my stomach again which is a great relief!

I didn’t get my home birth, but I did get the birth I wanted, it really couldn’t have gone any better than it did! The staff at the hospital were excellent and more than happy to leave me to it than they were first time around with Zack, I guess that’s the plus to being a 2nd time mum - people tend to be less condescending when they know you’ve been through it all before.

So here’s to my newest lil boy - Maximus Iain William G (last name not used for some sort of privacy) ,

born weighing 8lb 8oz, 51.5cm long and a head circ of 35cm (ouch!!).

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I love giving birth. I’d do it again in a second, it’s the horrendous pregnancies that I couldn’t do again, but hey, I can’t complain. I’ve had two straightforward (albeit late) births, no complications and two wonderful and healthy boys to show for it. It doesn’t really get any better does it?

You can find the previous parts of this story here and here.

We got to the hospital at 9pm, I was still feeling really uncomfortable but hadn’t yet twigged that I was actually in labour - no contractions that I was aware of or anything, I just thought I was more uncomfortable for yet another night!

I was shown to a room and my midwife came in… a guy who introduced himself as Steve. Well that was something I hadn’t even thought of - that my mw could be male! I knew they were about but hadn’t for a second thought that I might get one, lol! He was nice enough though and definitely knew what he was talking about so I wasn’t too bothered about him being my mw - anything to get the baby out remember?

I was strapped up to a monitor for 40 minutes ish so they could determine what the baby’s regular heartbeat was and to see if i was having anything resembling contractions. Cue me starting to feel regular pains and starting to have to breathe through them - bloody typical!

Steven told us that once they’d monitored me for 30-40 minutes he’d do in internal and see about breaking my waters. If that hadn’t worked in increasing contrations then they would see about getting a syntocinin drip started to induce contractions.

At about 10.30 the print outs from the past 40 min were looked at and yes, I had been having moderate contractions by this point for the whole time, with them getting stronger and stronger. We were all pretty sure by this time that once my waters were broken I’d go straight into full blown labour. 10.45pm and my waters were broken - oh god those contraction all of a sudden got a hell of a lot worse! I managed to last til about 11.30pm without any help but then I decided it was time to try the Gas and Air - ahhh I love that stuff it was the closest to feeling very happy-drunk that I had in a loooong time!

By 12.30am the contractions were becoming unbearable even with the gas and air. I was practically constantly using it as the contractions were that close together. I was out of it and in pain. I asked for an epidural - I figured there was no way I could cope with this pain if it was going to go on for another 3-4 hours!

Steven asked if he could do an internal to see how far along I was and then decide what to do. I was 7cm!! I’d progressed VERY quickly and so we decided to try out the diamorphine before going to an epidural - although by that point we kinda figured that it was unlikely to last long enough for me to get one as things seemed to be moving along really nicely.

12.45am and I am doped up to the eyeballs in Happy Land. Oh it was nice
I was practically snoozing in between the contractions and was out of it on G&A the rest of the time. By 1.30am I had been having the urge to push for about 5 min, but had managed to breathe through it for the most part, but it was getting more and more difficult to do that. I followed my body’s instinct and started pushing, or should I say my body took over and started pushing for me! I could feel him coming out pretty nicely, 2 pushes and the head was out, then a few breaths and with the next contraction and one more push, his body slithered out at 1.40am on Oct 11th.

Apparently the cord had been wrapped around his neck twice, but it was easily unravelled. We were asked if anyone wanted to cut the cord, J’s waay too squeamish so I did it - not something I had been intending to do but I was happy to do it at the time! He pooed all over me straight after this, but I didn’t notice! I was too busy realising that he was finally here to care! The first things I noticed about him were a birthmark on the back of his hand and a tooth - yes he was born with a tooth! He had a hell of a voice to him already and was screaming his wee heart out!

I had been worried about how the SPD would affect the birth, but it didn’t seem too bad, although it was even more painful to move about for the first week or so after the birth than before hand. Now it’s completely back to normal and I can sleep on my stomach again which is a great relief!

I didn’t get my home birth, but I did get the birth I wanted, it really couldn’t have gone any better than it did! The staff at the hospital were excellent and more than happy to leave me to it than they were first time around with Zack, I guess that’s the plus to being a 2nd time mum - people tend to be less condescending when they know you’ve been through it all before.

So here’s to my newest lil boy - Maximus Iain William G (last name not used for some sort of privacy) ,

born weighing 8lb 8oz, 51.5cm long and a head circ of 35cm (ouch!!).

You can find the first part of this story here.

I had decided pretty early on in this pregnancy that I’d like to give birth at home - everything had gone smoothly last time and I figured I’d be just as safe at home as in hospital since I’d have 2 midwives dedicated to me and me alone. So at 38weeks I was officially ‘on call’ for my midwife team to come out to me when needed. I really can’t fault their care, it was brilliant! I had all my appointments at home which was a godsend as there’s no way I’d have been able to get to the doctor’s surgery with Zack in tow in those last couple of months.

My official due date of Sept 28th went by, so did the 1st of Oct, still no baby. I’d had a sweep at 39wks,40wks, and again at 41wks, apparently I’d progressed to ‘a good’ 3cm dilated by that point. Each time I had a sweep the signs were promising. I’d have a show the next day and cramps on and off for a good couple of days, but nothing that ever went into full blown labour.

By 41wks and my 3rd sweep my MW mentioned that she’d booked me in for an induction on the 12th of Oct, but she didn’t expect me to need it, and of course it was up to me to decide wether I wanted to do that or carry on being monitored to go naturally (she was a star of a MW, I couldn’t have asked for anyone better!).

On the monday (the 8th) I had a call saying she’d managed to get it moved to that wed, the 10th. By this point I was so sick of being pregnant that I just wanted him out, regardless of how or where it happened. I was to call up at 8am to see if they had a bed available… and guess what, they didn’t. The person on the phone said to call back at around noon to see if there was any space then. Again they were really sorry but still no beds available *sigh*. I was asked to call back at 6pm.

I felt awful - was so jealous of all these women who were going into labour naturally when for one reason or another, even though all the signs were there that I *should* be in labour, I was stuck being 12 days over due and looking at another night of hell trying to sleep and crying cause it was just so damn sore. 6pm came and there were still no beds. They asked if they had a spot late evening then would I be able to come in? Luckily by this point my parents had booked into a local hotel to look after Zack and help out at home and while J and I were at hospital for this induction that seemed was never going to happen. I said yes, to call me at any point, and we could be there within the hour.

We got Zack into bed at his usual time and I decided to have a bath to try to relax. I had resigned myself to thinking that it wasn’t going to happen that day and I wouldn’t be meeting my son for at least another day or more. I had my fingers crossed that he wouldn’t be born on the 13th, not because of the superstitions related to it, but because it’s my my brother-in-law’s birthday, someone we really don’t get on with, but that’s a whole other story for another day!

I was suffering from constantly needing to go to the toilet but being unable to pass anything, but then this wasn’t exactly anything new, so I didn’t think anything of it. By 8pm though I was so uncomfortable I couldn’t sit down, I kept feeling like I was going to pee myself, but when I went to the loo I couldn’t do a damn thing. I had a very tight tummy by this point but had had this on and off constanly for the past 2-3 weeks, so I didn’t want to get my hopes up that something might actually be happening. I decided that if I still felt so crappy by 9pm I’d call my MW and ask her to come check me over.

At 8.30pm I had a call from the hospital, they had a bed for me now if I was able to come in. I had to say yes… the thought of this being a false alarm and things not actually kicking off was just too much to deal with, so I said we’d be there within the hour.
I called my parents and they came over straight away, my dad driving us to the hospital…

Kinda nicked this idea from Veronica… sorry honey hope you don’t mind!

This time last year I decided on one New Year’s Resolution… just one, because I knew that if i achieved it it’d take up too much time for me to concentrate on any other goals.

It was this time last year that J and I decided to try for another baby, a sibling for Zack. I had thought it would take at least a couple of months after coming off the pill, sorting out periods etc, so was hoping that we’d at least have another on the way by the end of the year if not actually here.

So my pill-induced period came on Christmas day - lucky me eh? At least this way I could guarantee I’d remember it for figuring out when my next was due etc. Luckily for me, that period never came. I had fallen pregnant in the first 2 weeks of the new year and initially had a due date of the 1st of October, give or take a few days. I think J was a bit miffed that he didn’t get the chance for us to practice at making a baby though, poor sod
By the end of January my morning sickness had already started - I was so worried that I would get as sick as I did last time around with the HG, but luckily for me it seemed that I was lucky to just have ‘normal’ morning sickness this time around.

At the 12 week scan the sonographer decided that my due date should be changed to Sept 28th because of the sizes. I knew that this baby would be late though, so I wasn’t expecting any arrival til October, especially since Zack had been 5 days late.

By the 20 weeks scan we found out that’it’ was actually a ‘he’ (hooray!! ), and the morning sickness had completely gone, but in it’s place I could already feel the very start of SPD. Symphysis Pubis Dysfunction basically meant the joint in the pelvis had widened too much in readiness for the birth and was causing problems. At this stage it was just a niggle but I mentioned it to my midwife as I’d had it last time around but not so early on, and there was no way I could afford for it to get as bad as before because I had Zack in my care.

I had an appointment at around 27 weeks to see a physiotherapist to check out the SPD, I was right, it was back again, and by this time it was already getting pretty sore. She gave me a support to wear that fitted from under my boobs right down over my hips and said that I could come back at any point if I felt I needed more help than the support was giving me. She warned me that there’s only so much they would be able to do, either crutches or a wheelchair if it got that bad, and a lot of pain medication from the doctor’s was as far as they could go. I hoped it wouldn’t get that far.

I managed pretty well with just the support until I hit 34 weeks, and from then on the pain became unbearable so I went to the doctor’s and was prescribed some stronger pain meds that were safe to use during the last trimester. They helped to take the edge off but I knew I’d have to eek them out as it was going to get much worse before it got better…

The doc had suggested me going back to physio but we chatted and came to the conclusion that there wouldn’t be much point - it wasn’t going to make life any easier if i had to hobble around on crutches with a 2 yr old, and a wheelchair was out of the question - I could still walk, it was just tear-jerkingly painful.

I was pretty much housebound from this point out. I could just about manage walking around our flat as there were plenty of things to lean on throughout the house, and it all being on one level definitely helped.

By 38 weeks I was in so much pain I could barely get in and out of bed, to the point that J had to book special leave to take care of me and Zack as I was in no position to be able to look after a 2 year old on my own. I Hated this part of pregnancy so much. Why me? J ended up having to cancel his time off that he’d booked for Christmas and New Year so that he could look after us. I was gutted but I knew I had to admit defeat and accept that I needed him to be there from then on until our lil one arrived.