I get so paranoid about the boys, specifically about Max at night. Whenever he sleeps well (i.e. when I’m not woken by his crying in the morning) I can’t seem to shake the overwhelming urge to check that he’s still breathing. I’m paranoid about cot death.
Realistically I know that he’ll be fine and is most likely past the possibility of leaving us through cot death, but I still worry about it. I did with Zack too, but no where near as much as I do this time around. I’ll have visions of me having to tell people, like the neighbours, my friends, family obviously, and how on earth would I break such a thing to my bloggy friends?
It doesn’t matter how much I try to talk myself out of it, knowing full well that he’ll wake up soon and I’ll wish I could have just slept instead of worrying about him, I just cannot shake the whole idea.
I know I’m not the only one… I’m sure most of us worry about these things don’t we? It scares me to think how easily I could lose one of my little ones through something I couldn’t possibly foresee, something that I couldn’t do anything to prevent.
I should be happy that I am so lucky to have my two boys. Both happy, both healthy and both fun to be with (most of the time!), but instead I find myself worrying about them all too much. There are so many things that could still hurt them, or take them away from me, and it scares me. The thought of my little ones not being here with me, not watching them grow up - or worse, see them grow up to then have them taken away, still too young though…
I guess I just have to keep putting these thoughts to the back of my mind and enjoy the time I have with them, because let’s face it… we never know when our time is up.
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i worry about Maddi too..
i think its normal some what..
i agree with we never know when our time is up..
Taz’s last blog post..27 Weeks Old
I still climb over Amy’s gate, risking waking her, just to place my hand on her chest to check her breathing. If she sleeps more than 3 hours, I find myself restless until I check.
It goes around in my head.
‘She is FINE! She is sleeping’
‘But I can’t hear breathing’
‘It’s because I am standing too far away’
‘I should check her’
‘But what if I wake her’
‘I should check her’
and on and on.
Veronica’s last blog post..The Taste Of Bitterness
Veronica has just typed word for word the script that runs through my head everytime one of my two are sleeping! It’s so hard to not wrap them in cotton wool and it’s very hard to realise which fears are justified and which are paranoia.
Barbara’s last blog post..118/366 - Too Tired, again
That is such a mom thing! I was paranoid about this for the first 2 years, and now, every now and then it still creeps up on me. You’re so right though, we never know what each day has in store…
Sandy (Momisodes)’s last blog post..Lost In Translation
I know a spouse isn’t like a child, but I worry about my husband, too. He’s 21 years older than I am, and I’m terrified about his leaving me…
Rebecca’s last blog post..Oh yes, the anniversary
Ooooh… and by “leaving,” I mean dying, not abandoning me… or deciding he doesn’t want to be married to me. THAT thought is worse than the thought of him dying. ACK!
Rebecca’s last blog post..Oh yes, the anniversary
Oh hugs hun , i know exactly how you feel. I really know how you feel and get upset just thinking about not having them in my life.
I wish i could keep them safe and with me all the time
Laura McIntyre’s last blog post..Scan
I worry about my baby as well. When she takes a long nap, I have to check on her just to make sure. The baby anxiety is REALLY hard….
Lisa’s last blog post..Spider Haiku