Those of you who are regulars will know I’ve not been having the best of times recently (if you don’t know what I’m on about you can catch up here). Well, I’ve been on meds now for 4 weeks, and they seem to be doing the trick.
This evening, once Zack was in bed, I let Max play on the floor for a while - he’s getting pretty good at 360s these days! I noticed he was looking for me and as soon as he twisted round and spotted me I got the most gorgeous smile ever. I just had to get down on the floor and play with him!
If I tickle behind his ears he’ll giggle, and if I make funny noises he’ll laugh his lil head off and give me the most gorgeous look of “you’re so silly mummy! I love you!” - to die for 
He was getting pretty excited, so I thought I’d better start calming him down since it’s the evening.
We just lay there, me looking down in his beautiful eyes, him smiling at me, gurgling away in his gorgeous little voice, and I found it again, I found the complete love I have for my littlest boy. It was always there - I know that - but tonight was the first time I really… I mean REALLY felt it for a long time. Of course I started crying… and then another HUGE grin from him and I cried some more. Tears of joy that I’ve found the love I thought I’d lost for my precious baby boy. I hope I never lose it again… but with that gorgeous grin and oh-so-cute giggle I don’t think that will happen!
So, my beautiful little Max, Mummy loves you so so much! I always have, I just got a bit lost for a while. Now I’m back and I’m here to stay and give you all the love and cuddles I can! Chin Chin xxx
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